you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
