You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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