You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
