i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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