wanna go halves on a baby?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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