He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
