Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
