I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
