you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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