Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
