Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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