Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
