I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
