I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
