Porn is love you can see.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
