you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
