Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
