Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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