i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it glows. i had to have it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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