I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i will never coherently bang her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
