community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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