some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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