i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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