so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
