Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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