A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
