Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
