goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
