He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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