the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
