the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
