he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
