Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
