Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
