Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
