big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
