My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
