found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
