things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
As shirtless as possible
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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