And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
