i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
