It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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