why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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