fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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