Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
