There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
