One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
