Define "chronic" masturbator.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
