We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
