well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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